Is it a Phase, or Should We Get Counseling? by Neil McNerney, M.Ed., LPC

One of the hard things about being a parent is trying to figure out whether our child is “just going through a phase,” or whether the issues might benefit from counseling. On one hand, we want to do what is best for our child, but on the other hand, we also don’t want to blow things out of proportion.

Two things to look for, when it comes to whether you should consider counseling for your child, are these: length of time, and severity of the issue.

Length of Time

When something is a phase, it tends to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. For instance, most kindergartners and first graders have some difficulty adjusting to school, especially in the beginning. Usually, this will fade after a few weeks. If it doesn’t fade, it might be a good idea to consult with a counselor to see if counseling might be helpful.

When it seems like the issue should have resolved itself on its own, and it hasn’t, then it might be time to consult with a counselor.

Severity

If the issue is more extreme or severe than you would expect, then counseling might be in order. For instance, all teens are moody. It’s a part of their species. But if the moodiness is extreme, and you worry about the severity, then it might be more than just a phase.

Here is a list of things to look for that might help in deciding whether to give The Wellness Connection a call. We are always interested in helping you determine how to be most helpful for your children.

Sleep Changes

·        Trouble falling asleep and/or staying asleep

·        Feeling un-rested even after a normal sleep cycle

·        Recurrent nightmares or fear of going to sleep

Behavior Issues

·        Significant disrespect toward parents

·        Defiance of rules at home or school

·        Increased irritability and a desire to bother others

School Issues

·        Low motivation

·        Difficulty starting or completing homework; losing assignments

·        Giving up

·        Decreased concentration and/or easily distracted

Anxiety Issues

·        Significant worry and focus on future issues

·        Difficulty concentrating

·        Perfectionism and/or irritability

·        Repeated behaviors; needs things ‘just so’

Depression Issues

·        Sense of sadness and/or irritability

·        Negative comments about life

·        Loss of interest in sports, hobbies, etc.; isolation

·        Difficulty concentrating

Friendship Issues

·        Difficulty making or keeping friends

·        Difficulty in coping with teasing

·        Hanging out with a different peer group

For More information or to discuss any specific situations, please call The Wellness Connection, LLC at (703)327-0335,