Accessibility Summit written by Neil McNerney, M.Ed., LPC

I had the honor of representing The Wellness Connection at the annual Accessibility Summit in McLean, VA this April. When I received the request to talk about my book: Homework - A Parent’s Guide to Helping Out Without Freaking Out, I initially wondered how my techniques would translate to an audience of parents with children who have significant disabilities.

 

How did it go? Fantastic! I was relieved to see that the challenges we all face as parents are universal. We all struggle with keeping our cool, dealing with unmotivated kids, and being the best leader possible. If you are interested in a free chapter of Homework, send me an email at neil.mcnerney@wellnessconnectionllc.com. I would be happy to send it your way.

 

I was very happy to be joined by my coauthor of The Don’t Freak Out Guide to Parenting Kids with Asperger’s. Sharon Fuentes, a local South Riding mom blogger, was a huge hit, bringing tried and tested techniques on increasing school cooperation and student motivation. Sharon has also agreed to begin a parent support group for kids with special needs, particularly those on the autism spectrum. If you are interested in getting your name on the list for this group, give us a call at 703-327-0335.

 

What am I going to do with them ALL summer long???

Selecting a summer camp for your kids:

Written By Sarah Freeman, M.ED.

Have you ever had the experience of dropping your kids off at a camp, looking around and getting back in your car with not much more than hope that the kids will survive and confusion about what you paid for?

Many summer camps are run by teens and young adults who are there for their summer jobs. Don’t discount their enthusiasm, passion for kids or developing leadership skills. Many are there for all the right reasons. Unfortunately they are frequently not set up with the design or resources to be much more than childcare providers successfully.

Wouldn’t it be such a nice relief to know your children are getting the same level of structure and education that they get at school? Not to mention the added bonus of summer fun every day in a summer camp.

If you are looking for some summer fun as well as your child having the opportunity to continue to grow, learn new skills and be engaged throughout the camp, check out the Wellness Connection Summer Camps.

As a Mental Health Therapist at Wellness Connection and a former teacher in Fairfax and Prince William Counties, I have helped design four Wellness Summer Camps. Our camps include a foundation in nutrition, social skills, mental and physical health, and we did not forget to jam pack each week with essential summer fun!

We Make Wellness Fun

Below are only the highlights of what we have planned for your child: 

-   Social Skills – Engage with other peers in age appropriate ways. Learn how to navigate everyday experiences successfully. Understand verbal and nonverbal communication. See social cues, interpret them and interact with ease.

-   Nutrition – Learn that what we put in our bodies is our fuel. Items we consume cause different moods and affect our health. There will be opportunities to try new fruits and veggies, make tasty smoothies, learn healthy snack options and create artwork with fruits and veggies.

-   Mental Health – Improve self-esteem, self-confidence and self-care.  Handle emotions as they come up in healthy ways, including the tricky emotions of stress and anger.

-   Physical Health & Activity – Participate in obstacle courses, trail walks, introductions to Yoga and Zumba and sharing sport skills each child brings to the camp. Learn about listening to our bodies and including play or physical activity every day.

-   Summer Fun – In addition to daily fun and laughter, we have an amazing field trip planned to Great Country Farms every Friday. Kids will experience a working farm and explore fun outdoor activities.

Each of our summer camps is run by Professional Teachers, Mental Health Therapists and Occupational Therapists.  As a Therapist I specialize in working with children, teens and young adults through client centered, cognitive behavioral and art/play therapy counseling approaches. I am very fortunate to have had the opportunity to incorporate my experience and skills into these educational camps. I look forward to a fantastic, fun packed summer at Wellness Connection. The amazing skills of our passionate professionals have combined to offer endless opportunities for your child this summer!

Visit the camps tab on our website to learn more and sign up.

Hope to see your kids this summer!

 http://wellnessconnectionllc.com/resources/camps-4/

Is it a Phase, or Should We Get Counseling? by Neil McNerney, M.Ed., LPC

One of the hard things about being a parent is trying to figure out whether our child is “just going through a phase,” or whether the issues might benefit from counseling. On one hand, we want to do what is best for our child, but on the other hand, we also don’t want to blow things out of proportion.

Two things to look for, when it comes to whether you should consider counseling for your child, are these: length of time, and severity of the issue.

Length of Time

When something is a phase, it tends to have a beginning, a middle, and an end. For instance, most kindergartners and first graders have some difficulty adjusting to school, especially in the beginning. Usually, this will fade after a few weeks. If it doesn’t fade, it might be a good idea to consult with a counselor to see if counseling might be helpful.

When it seems like the issue should have resolved itself on its own, and it hasn’t, then it might be time to consult with a counselor.

Severity

If the issue is more extreme or severe than you would expect, then counseling might be in order. For instance, all teens are moody. It’s a part of their species. But if the moodiness is extreme, and you worry about the severity, then it might be more than just a phase.

Here is a list of things to look for that might help in deciding whether to give The Wellness Connection a call. We are always interested in helping you determine how to be most helpful for your children.

Sleep Changes

·        Trouble falling asleep and/or staying asleep

·        Feeling un-rested even after a normal sleep cycle

·        Recurrent nightmares or fear of going to sleep

Behavior Issues

·        Significant disrespect toward parents

·        Defiance of rules at home or school

·        Increased irritability and a desire to bother others

School Issues

·        Low motivation

·        Difficulty starting or completing homework; losing assignments

·        Giving up

·        Decreased concentration and/or easily distracted

Anxiety Issues

·        Significant worry and focus on future issues

·        Difficulty concentrating

·        Perfectionism and/or irritability

·        Repeated behaviors; needs things ‘just so’

Depression Issues

·        Sense of sadness and/or irritability

·        Negative comments about life

·        Loss of interest in sports, hobbies, etc.; isolation

·        Difficulty concentrating

Friendship Issues

·        Difficulty making or keeping friends

·        Difficulty in coping with teasing

·        Hanging out with a different peer group

For More information or to discuss any specific situations, please call The Wellness Connection, LLC at (703)327-0335,

Please welcome Dr. Maricar Vigilar to the Wellness Connection

Maria Carmen V. Gonzales-Vigilar, M.D., MS is a board certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist. She has been serving the northern Virginia area in various capacities since 2007. Currently, she sees patients in an outpatient setting at Gonzales-Vigilar Psychiatric Services in Stone Ridge at The Wellness Connection. In addition, she provides residential services at Grafton Integrated Health Network in Berryville (where she served as medical director for 6 years). Since October 2013, she is the Medical Director of Choices, Dominion Hospital's Adolescent Intensive Outpatient program at Ashburn. Dr. Gonzales-Vigilar received her medical degree from the University of Santo Tomas, Philippines. She obtained a Masters Degree on Human Nutrition and Foods from VA Tech. She completed her general psychiatry residency training at Henry Ford Hospital and child/adolescent fellowship at Wayne State University, Detroit, MI. During her fellowship, she served as the chief resident and received the outstanding graduating child and adolescent fellow. Her family moved from MI to VA. She is married to Gregorio G. Vigilar PhD and have 2 grownup daughters. Dr. Vigilar is fluent in Tagalog and English.  

The Benefits of Tai Chi

by Justin Short, licensed acupuncturist and tai chi instructor

In preparation for writing this, I did an internet search for ‘benefits of tai chi’.  What I found was a lot of good information and scientific studies about how Tai Chi can help with a myriad of problems associated with aging, from balance, bone density and other musculoskeletal issues, to Alzheimer’s and other mental acuity issues.   There was also information about how Tai Chi could help with issues not specifically related to aging, such as stress and anxiety.  All this is true; Tai Chi can help with all those things and more.  In fact, it is so effective that it is often called “the healing art.”  However, by focusing primarily on what Tai Chi can fix, we are only getting half the picture.  Tai Chi can also help prevent many of these same issues, and much more, from ever occurring.  

One of the big topics in medicine today is prevention, or the idea of stopping illness before it even starts.  Despite the prevalence of this topic, there are very few medical treatments that can do this.  This is because most healing modalities need something to be wrong in order to fix it.  There has to be a diagnosis or there can be no treatment.  It should be no surprise then that with this model, we have such a hard time finding preventative treatments.  This is where Tai Chi comes in.  It is truly preventative medicine.    

Regular practice of Tai Chi can do all the things that studies say it can.  It strengthens muscles while increasing range of motion and flexibility.  It focuses and calms the mind while increasing energy and endurance.  It helps with brain health and organ function, and it can do all this in a relatively short period of time (most studies had participants training 1-3 times per week for 6 months to a year; however, the longer you train the better the results).  

True preventative medicine is a healthy lifestyle.  Every physician, no matter the modality or background, will tell you that proper diet and regular exercise are the keys to a happy and healthy life.  Of all the different possible exercises available, there are very few with a history as long, and a theory as deep and comprehensive while at the same time having so much positive and convincing modern research, as Tai Chi. 

Development of Identity in Women

by Sarah Haug, Psy.D

The subject of ‘identity’ was brought to my attention as a topic of interest for the Women’s Group I am facilitating at the Wellness Connection. As I as searched through articles and information about women’s identity development it became apparent that the search for identity and personal development is an ongoing theme in women’s lives. In fact, data from one literature review on the psychosocial development of women concludes that “..diverse and non-linear patterns of stability and transition are the norm for women; intimacy and identity are key issues throughout women’s lives.” (Caffarella & Olson, 1993).  So if you are a woman hoping to rest in peace once you have ‘found your identity,’ think again. Perhaps it is in our nature to be constantly in quest of ourselves and maybe, just maybe, this is a good thing.

Think about it: as women we are required, wired and certainly socialized to be attentive to the needs of others—particularly our family and children. To do this we must be flexible, good at multi-tasking, ever on the alert for changes in our environment and ready to respond. So, it seems logical that our searching nature is also turned inwards towards our Self as part of our journey through life.

Looking at ourselves is also a critical part of forming and maintaining relationships, and vice versa; i.e., we women derive a lot of information about ourselves through our relationships, thus our relationships are critical to our development.  Of course relationships are important to the development of all humans, but our biological ‘destiny’ as women seems to require emphasis on intimacy skills since close relationships strengthen our network of support key to our success and survival.

Now that I have made the rather unsettling point that it is our nature as women to always be searching for identity, we can exhale into this fact and just ride the wave, right?  Well, maybe, but if you need more concrete data about our development as women, I also offer some other interesting factoids gleaned from my exploration of women’s identity and development below:

Empirical accounts of middle age converge on four important features of midlife for women (Clausen, 1986; Erickson, 1980; Neugarten, 1968) that affect well being:

• Identity 
• Generativity
• Confident power
• Concern about aging

Women generally feel more identity certainty (security about ‘who we are’), generativity (getting important things done), and confident power (feeling competent) in their 40’s than they did in their 30’s, and these positive features of development appear to increase with age.  (Stewart, Ostrove & Helson, 2001; Zucker, Stewart & Ostrove, 2002).

Women in their 20’s feel less concern about aging, (Well, “duh” as is often said after reading psychology research literature.) but also report less identity certainty, generativity and confident power compared with women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s.

Generativity tends to level out after the 50’s but confident power tends to increase through the 60’s.
Concern about aging is more prominent in women aged 40+ than women in their 20’s and 30’s (another “duh”), and this factor is negatively related to well-being.  On the other hand, women in their 20’s and 30s’ report higher levels of personal distress than do women in their 40’s-60’s.

So, the good news is that as we age, we women can expect more security in our identity (or maybe just more comfort riding the wave of our never-ending search for self!), greater generativity and more confidence.  The bad news is that as we get into our 40’s and upward we become aware of aging and suffer more anxiety about aging and health, leading to decreased well being.  What is the saying that comes to mind here? Oh yes,  “Youth is wasted on the young.”  But to find the silver lining: Could it be that we learn more about ourselves through experiencing loss and frailty?  A question to be explored in another blog...

Weight Loss Success Story: Meet John from Stone Ridge

written by Koren Barwis, HHC, CPT

One of John's Weight Loss Tools

Meet John* from Stone Ridge.

John is a husband and father who in March of this year weighed 288 pounds. At 6’-0”, he was roughly 75- 100 pounds overweight and he felt it. John had always been overweight and was never very athletic. He had poor eating habits and snacked constantly, especially in times of stress. “I’d easily eat an entire bag of chips or cookies. I’d get home from work, eat a huge dinner and then sit on the couch and snack more.” 

Everything changed when at his annual physical, John’s doctor said if his blood pressure were any higher, she would have to send him to the emergency room. She recommended prescription drugs to reduce his blood pressure. The experience scared him so much that the next day, John started walking outside and eating healthier food.

“It was important to me to be a role model for my boys. I want them to be healthy and I knew I couldn’t do that without setting an example.” 

 John started eating clean – lots of fruit, vegetables, lean protein, and some complex carbohydrates. “I think I lost probably 75% of my weight simply from eating healthy. If it comes in a package, doesn’t expire within a week or two, is high in fat or 'bad' carbs, I probably won’t eat it. I don’t cheat, I don’t snack, and I won’t eat after 6:30 PM. I drink a lot of water.”

John also went from being sedentary to exercising daily, adding in biking to his repertoire. “I love (actually, crave) exercise now. 7 months ago, I did none of those things and hated working out.”

For the first several months, John’s weight came off very quickly. His clothes fit better and he slept better at night. Then the weight loss slowed and John learned that in order to keep his momentum, he had to push his body harder. He’d bike longer, and tried running, something he never thought he’d enjoy. He has started strength training and even did his first pull-up EVER last week. There is even talk about running a half marathon next year. As of December 1, John weighs 178 pounds — 110 pounds lost in eight months!

John has had to buy all new clothes and does have some extra loose skin, but he believes “these things are a small price to pay for the health benefits of losing the weight.” Throughout his weight loss journey, John has learned a lot and has some bits of advice for those just starting out:

• Figure out what works for you, and make it a passion. If you can seriously commit to 3 months, it just becomes part of your routine and after you see the results, you will probably care more about keeping it up rather than undoing the effort you put into your self-improvement.
• Set a reasonable goal for yourself, hit your goal, and then create a new goal.
• Surround yourself with people who’ll support you and encourage you. Ignore the haters - some people ask “what’s your secret” and get turned off in disgust when you tell them that it’s simply eating right and exercise because they are still looking for some miracle, easy solution.
• Get advice from other healthy people. Everyone has an opinion and the best people to listen to are those who are walking the walk.
• Lastly, don’t view healthy eating as a diet, because that implies that it is temporary. Clean eating is just how you eat - regularly, permanently. It is truly a lifestyle.

I wish I could take credit for John’s success, but he was already well on his way when he came to see me at The Wellness Connection. I simply helped him gain a deeper understanding of nutrition and fitness and encouraged some adjustments and tweaks to his routine and diet. John is one of the most dedicated and disciplined people I’ve worked with. I’ll suggest a change and he implements it. I don’t know his secret, but his story does confirm one of my core beliefs - when you are ready to change, change happens.  

  *John’s name has been changed.
  (Photo credit: Flickr, gingerchrismc)