The Key to a Joyful Holiday Season By Dina Hilaris Marriage and Family Therapy Intern

It’s easy to get caught up in the rush of materialism over the holidays. As we try to make the holidays special for our families, we often times fall into the trap of materialism and buy into what the retail industry is telling us: material gifts will make us happy.  However, research shows that materialistic people are less happy than their peers as they experience fewer positive emotions. So how do we make our children happy while also avoiding the effect of materialism? The key is simple: Gratitude.

Researchers are now finding that cultivating gratitude can counter the negative effects of materialism. So what connects gratitude and materialism? Gratitude helps us savor the good in our lives, rather than taking it for granted and yearning for what’s next. The practice of gratitude also enables us to appreciate the good that people bring into our everyday lives, which ends up strengthening our relationships. The research even finds that when we receive a gift, gratitude motivates us to pay it forward and give more to others.

So how do we teach our children gratitude? A great way to teach your family how to practice gratitude is through modeling. Every night at the dinner table having each family member share something they were grateful for that day can be a great way to cultivate gratitude. It can be as small as “I had a really good turkey sandwich today” or as important as “I am grateful to have my friend at school who I can confide in.” This activity works best if the parents participate as well and honestly share their gratitude. Not only does this prompt family discussion, but it also teaches children to look for the good in their lives and be grateful for what they have. You may have many gifts for your children this holiday season, but as long as they can practice sincere gratitude, they won’t get lost in materialism.

Other ideas to cultivate gratitude include keeping a gratitude journal, and writing a gratitude letter to someone you appreciate in your life. Both of these ideas have been proven effective with children and adults and could become a beautiful holiday tradition.  Also consider age-appropriate community service opportunities to do as a family. Even encouraging children to choose some clothes or toys to donate to charity could get them involved in giving and teach them the importance and joy that comes from helping others. If you are still deciding what kind of gifts to give this holiday season, research has also found that people feel more grateful for experiential gifts rather than material ones. But no matter how you spend, give thanks for what you have and you will have a truly joyful holiday season.